he’s haunting my fucking dreams.

why is it that we’re constantly drawn to the people who hurt us in the most brutal and cruel ways?

how the fuck can i possibly still miss him?
and want him?
and hope and pray he’ll come back?

after everything he put me through,
i would kill for his kiss. or a touch. a look. a hello.

the very mention of him makes me physically nauseas and dizzy.

i pretend i hate him, i pretend im completely fine, better off even, without him. and its easy to say that when i have people with me, agreeing. cheering me on. insulting him with me.

but im the one who goes home alone at night. and cries. and slips into dreams of him.

its all way too fucked up.

@2 years ago